Headline Jan 14, 2016/ ''' SAY *CHEESE! ''' : *CAMERA THE REAL HERO*

''' SAY *CHEESE! ''' : 

*CAMERA THE REAL HERO*

MOVE OVER,.... millennials. Every society in the world is trying to obsess over the next generation that will define the world culture.

History has not yet revealed what we will definitely call the postmillennial cohort that now numbers in great majority the world over. More than 60 million in the US.

These kids and teens with no concept of life without the  ''Internet''  have so far been called the  App  Generation   and  Generation Z .

They've have been referred to as Homelanders, having grownup under specter of terrorism. They've also been labelled the Plurals, for their historic and every diversity, as well as the Founders, at least by MTV.

They worry about their inability to tolerate even  5 seconds of boredom. And they fret about demand that come with maintaining several identities online, from-

Facebook to Instagram to Snapchat. 

''There's so much pressure on young people, who are still forming their identities, to present this crystallized, idealized identity on line,'' says the University of Washington's Katie Davis.

There is also optimism about a generation that is asserting an entrepreneurial spirit and finding ways to get offline. These kids uberprotective Gen X parents  -determined not to raise latchkey kids like themselves-

Are meanwhile hovering and helping them digitally detox in screenless campus and Waldorf schools.  

THESE DAYS, cameras are everywhere, but this one reluctant star, N Vittachi, is going to be the catch of the day, how about some crumbs of royalties?

SMILE, PLEASE   -you're on the candid camera. 

This is not a joke. The likelihood is that there are more cameras than human beings in your community, -assuming that your community is my apartment.

I use to be irritated when my children wondered into the toilet when I was using it. Now I worry about them wondering in with camera phones.

The last time it happened, I threw toilet rolls and shouted, ''I hope you are not filming this for YouTube.'' They replied, ''Of course not, that's so last month, it's going out as a  high-def  live-streaming video feed as we speak.''

It turns out that on YouTube  Shaky Blurred Pictures of Family Members Doing Dumb Stuff is now the single biggest category of video clips.

Thank goodness camera phones weren't invented when I fixed our bookshelf so well that it collapsed, destroying half the apartment and tossing my valuable  third-runner-up  school trophies out of a ninth floor window.

Escaping to a bar, I started on a long rant about the sins of this camera-obsessed generation. To my dismay. many listeners were fans of this plague. 

A LONDONER told me about a woman in England who threw a cat in a garbage bin. When the surveillance video went public, she received so many death threats that she needed police protection.

It seems that there, if you cause the slightest discomfort to an animal, the population rises up to beat you to death with their bowler hats.

A similar argument came from a guy in New York. He told a story of how a truck had bashed into a pole and knocked it down. A 23-year old woman was apparently crushed in the accident.

However, a surveillance camera revealed that she had thrown herself down to scam the driver for damages. ''You gotta admit, the camera was the hero in that story,'' the New Yorker said.

Of course there are downsides to being constantly monitored, the Londoner added, explaining that the UK now had an estimated four million cameras:

''I can no longer scratch myself in London because there are-

Three high-definition cameras looking at me: one doing a wide wide-angle, one doing a medium close-up of my hand and the other roaming my trousers,'' he said.

*If he wants to scratch himself, he takes the Eurostar train to Paris*.

Before anyone thinks of adding cameras to street here, a UK study of several years ago concluded:

''Police are no more likely to catch offenders in areas with hundreds of cameras than in those with hardly any.''

However, my attitude really changed after my bartender  {who doubles as my mentor}  made a suggestion:

**''If family members are really making videos of you, why not apply for an Equity Card?''**

If I had a a large body of filmed work, I could register as an actor. I phoned a thespian friend and asked, ''How much do unionised actors get paid?'' He replied:

''The Screen Actors Guild guarantees all film or video actors with speaking parts a minimum rate of $782 per day.''

Woohoo! Now if you'd excuse me, I need to go and do some  ''stupid dad tricks'' at home.

I wonder if my kids need another bookshelf.......

With respectful dedication to all the Leaders of the Free World, Parents, Students, Professors and Teachers. See Ya all on !WOW!   -the World Students Society:

''' The Master Millennials '''

Good Night and God Bless

SAM Daily Times - the Voice of the Voiceless