Headline May 13, 2015/ ''' O ' ! MOMMY -DEAREST ! '''

''' O ' ! MOMMY -DEAREST ! '''

COME tear my heart, -for the world to see,
Where all these parts -soon  stars  to   be.

How  then can God with some love behold?
Whence Angels claim their hearts of   Gold!

'''With most respectful and loving dedication to all the mothers, every mother just so great,  [great mothers] in the world.''

There's a moment in Xavier Dolan's  new film  Mommy, when a troubled young man tells his mother that he's afraid she'll stop loving him.

She offers a heartbreaking and a very precious response that cuts to the core of the complicated relationship between parent and child : 

***''What's going to happen is, I'm going to be loving you more and more, and you'll be loving me less and less. That's just the natural way of life.''***

Such insights may not be the type of wisdom viewers would expect from Dolan, a 25-year old actor, writer and director considered the  enfant terrible  of Canadian cinema.

Dolan, who has written and directed  five feature films, is a controversial figure in the international firm scene; he notoriously joked Orson Welles, whose  Citizen Kane  was released just days before his 26th birthday, was ''lazy'' and ''late'' bloomer.

Dolan's critics deride his work as narcissistic and smug. But Mommy won the Jury Prize only years ago  at Cannes Film Festival and earned a  13-minute standing ovation as well as rapt praise praise from jury head Jane Campion-

The Oscar winning director of  The Piano.

Profound and provocative, Mommy, which opened in limited release at the time, proves that even wunderkinds can grow up.

''MOM : THE DESIGNATED WORRIER'''  , writes one super thinker: ''there's a story my daughter loves to hear me tell: The day after I came home from the hospital with her big brother, my first child-

I was seized that I was about to die. I sobbed; I asked my husband: ''But who will keep him in socks? Who will  make sure he he's wearing his little socks?''

'Don't you think Daddy could put the socks on?' my daughter explains, delighted that I had been so ridiculous.''

''I wasn't sure he'd remember,'' I say, ''or have enough on hand.''

Now parenthood, of course, does things to your brain. But I was on to something, to my deranged, post partum way. I should state for the record that my husband is perfectly handy with socks.

Still, the parents more obsessed with the children's hosiery is the one who'll make sure it's in stock. And the shouldering of that one task can cascade into responsibility for the whole assembly line of childhood.

She who buys the bootees, will surely buy the bottle washer, just as she'' probably find the babysitter and pencil in the class trips. I don't mean to say that she'll be the one to do everything, just that she'll make sure that most everything gets done.

Sociologists sometimes call the management of familial duties  ''worry work,'' and the person who does it the  ''designated worrier,''  because you need large reserves of emotional energy to stay on top of it all.

I wish I could say that fathers and mothers worry in equal measure. But they don't. Disregard what your friends  two-career couples friends say about going  50-50. Sociological studies of heterosexual couples from all strata of society confirm that-

By and large, mothers draft the   to-do-lists  while fathers pick and choose among the items. And whether a woman loves or hates worry work, it can scatter her focus on what she does for pay and knock her partway or clean off a career path.

The distracting grind of apprehension and organization may may be one of the least movable obstacles to women's equality in the workplace.

It's surprising that household supervision resists gender reassignment to the degree that it does. In the United States today, more than half of all women work, and women are  40%  of the sole or primary breadwinners in households with children under 18.

The apportionment of the acts required to keep home and family together has also been evening out during the past 40 years [though, for housework, this is more because women have sloughed off than because men taken it on].

Nonetheless,  ''one of the last things to go is women keeping track of the kind of nonroutine details of taking care of children   -when they have to go to the  doctor, when they need a permission slip for school, paying attention at that level,'' says the social psychologist Francis Deutsch, author of  ''Halving It All: How Equally Shared Parenting Works.''

The amount of attention that must be paid to such details has also ballooned in the past few decades. This is because of our commitment to what the sociologist Annette Lareau calls ''concerted cultivation''.

We enroll children in dance classes, soccer, tutoring,  -often three or four extracurricular activities a week. These demand schlepping obviously but also have less visible time costs; searching the web for the best program, ordering equipment, packing snacks and so on.

We fret that we're over scheduling the children, but don't seem to realize that we're also over scheduling ourselves.

The Honour and Serving of the  ''operational research''  on Mothers, love, and beauty of life will continue at regular intervals in the future.

With respectful dedication to all the Humans of the world. See Ya all on !WOW!- the World Students Society Computers-Internet-Wireless:

''' World Retouched '''

'''Good Night and God Bless

SAM Daily Times - the Voice of the Voiceless


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