Headline Feb 13, 2015/ ''' THE BIONIC BATHROOM '''

''' THE BIONIC BATHROOM '''

IT IS HARD -even impossible,  for me to remember a city in the developing world that gave its people, its citizens, a convenient and a  decent public toilet.

WITH APPEAL, and respectful dedication to the leaders of the developing world. And back here, in Pakistan, an additional special appeal to:

O''Captain Imran Khan, to consider this  ''great public need and service''   with great attention and great respect. 

WHEN MICROSOFT OPENED its home of the future for media inspection in 1994, 

Journalists noticed that something fundamental was missing from Bill Gates visionary living space:

A Bathroom.

This oversight seemed particularly glaring as, in the last decade of the 20th century, the  American bathroom  had gone the same way as the nation's waistline:

 Super-sizing to around three times its original dimensions.

GIVEN the fanaticism of devotees to Microsoft's rival  Apple, it should come as no surprise to learn that  Jonathan Ive-obsessed  designers took it open themselves:

To steal a march on Bill Gates in the computerised conveniences stakes by announcing the launch of the Air Poo.

If the  internet adverts  are to be believed, then the Mac-compatible  commode has ''five cutting-edge features'' including integrated surround and docking slots for an iPod and the MacBook Air.

Of course, they are not to be believed.

Devised by New York ad creatives  LOL.Z., the Air Poo is a spoof, although it's not quite so ridiculous a concept as it first appears. 

The bathroom, previously always a pin short of a full plug in the technology department, is about to undergo a makeover which will see it transformed beyond all recognition-

And the humble crapper will not be exempt from the process.

Anyone who has ever relieved themselves in the  Park Hyatt Tokyo will not have looked  into the future but will also appreciate why Sofia Coppola chose it as the setting for   -Lost In Translation :

The hotel's all singing, rinsing'n'blow drying toilets are almost impossible to fathom.

Similar smart-lavs are now appearing in the  UK  (there paperless credentials have seen them installed in London's latest green restaurant, Water House)-

But Japanese designers have already taken a quantum leap in:

High-tech plumbing fixtures: on sale since 2005, the  Intelligent Toilet  transforms the smallest room from a place for contemplation into a walk-in, sit down and well -being centre.

These  superloos  take the  German predilection  for  stool-checking  to new limits, by incorporating not only a   blood pressure  testing accessory but an extendable cup which:

Collects and Tests the sugar level in your urine  -the results are automatically downloaded  from  WC  to  PC.

Its manufacturers  TOTO , also produce  a  Washlet  bowl equipped with a device that exudes an aroma of rose petals when your park your rear on its heated seat.

Such advancements don't end there.

As author Katherine Ashenburg notes in  Clean , her meticulous tome on the History of Hygiene , the technological trickle-down from luxury hotel suites has been going on since the 19th century.

''Once travellers experience  fogless mirrors, a shower that imitates a rainforest downpour and a bathtub built for four.'' she says, ''chances are it won't be long before these amenities are available in the domestic market.''

And watching your shares go up and down on a water-proof flat-screen is fine for captains of the industry. 

For mere mortals who just want to catch the news, nothing beats the Tivoli Songbook : The Radio.

It has a built-in-charger, splashproof cabinet and comes in several colours.

Perhaps the most significant addition to the bathroom suite, however, is the television screen. These appear embedded into walls  (ostentatious), cojoined to towel warmers (bizarre)-

And even discreetly disguised behind vanity mirrors, magically transforming into monitors at the touch of the screen   

I hope to write ever so often, and keep you informed on the tech developments on the  Bathroom  front. Thank you for reading and see you on the following one.

With respectful and loving dedication to all the Students of the world. See Ya all on !WOW!  -the World Students Society Computers-Internet-Wireless:

''' The Future '''

'''Good Night and God Bless

SAM Daily Times - the Voice of the Voiceless